Our Story
Representation Matters
Jessie and Alexandra spotted each other across a crowded room, locked eyes . . . and then didn’t speak for the first time until 2 years later. In 2017, Alexandra appeared on a panel about bisexual+ media representation (typical!) in Manhattan and, as luck would have it, Jessie (who, if you didn’t know, cares a lot about equality) happened to be in the audience. “I hope she says hi to me afterwards,” they both thought to themselves. Neither of them did, but that ended up being totally fine, because they each spent the next 2 years focusing on their respective personal growth and joy, and what a happy, healthy, mutual forever love could one day look like.
It’s personal . . .
Feeling adventurously curious and only mildly chaotic (again, typical!), Alexandra drafted a text-only personals ad with the help of her friends, Emily and Matt, for a popular Instagram account that’s now evolved into the dating app, Lex. “Prioritizing kindness, productivity, and reciprocity. Seeking same. All signs and genders may apply. Let’s have adventures and get worked up about politics & pop culture. Know a good Mediterranean spot?,” Alexandra wrote, and then clicked “submit.” While scrolling through Instagram one morning over coffee with her sister-by-choice Rachelle, Jessie saw the post, clicked through to Alexandra’s Instagram page, and immediately connected the dots. Not usually the first one to DM, Jessie took a leap: “I think I saw you speak on a bi+ rep panel a couple of years ago! I get nerdy about all that. I want to know more about what you’re up to. Want to get a drink with me sometime?” So, right on time, Jessie and Alexandra finally said hi to each other.
“Smacked in the face by Cupid”
4 days later, 8 minutes after the time they’d initially agreed to meet, and on the first day of spring, Alexandra walked into the Hotel Delmano, an upscale Williamsburg bar, saw Jessie sitting in her leather jacket and ripped black jeans, and—as Alexandra’s friend, Jillian, would later describe it—was promptly “smacked in the face by Cupid.” Jessie looked over just as Alexandra walked through the door and immediately thought to herself, “Be cool Jessie, be cool.” Reader, she had neither any cool nor any chill. Over dirty martinis and the course of 4 hours, they talked about everything (especially the things you’re not supposed to talk about, like religion and politics), and even successfully confronted a weird guy trying to hit on Jessie with a flower he made out of napkins. All in all, it was definitely worth the wait.
#4
Even if it wasn’t full-on love at first sight, it was by the fourth date. Though they didn’t exchange L-words for a few more weeks, they each knew it was true. Over breakfast, Jessie and Alexandra casually dove into notoriously casual, easy-going questions like, “do you want kids someday?”, “how do you feel about marriage?”, and “should we only date each other?”. The three questions ultimately had one, unified answer: yes. So they spent the rest of 2019 doing what they’ll probably never have the chance to do again: with no fixed schedules, typical work restraints, or cash to spare, they dove deep into learning about each other, exploring NYC, meeting each other’s close friends, and building the foundation of their shared lives.
Downing Street
In January 2020, the couple moved into a 1-and-a-half bedroom apartment (oh, New York…!) together in central Brooklyn on a tree-lined street filled with brownstones. Jessie had coincidentally written a song a few months prior with the lyric “I’ll drag my [Christmas] tree on Downing Street” — so when they saw the apartment, they knew it was theirs. The global pandemic, of course, came just 2 months later, meaning they would spend much more time in their new place than they ever imagined. Through DIY improvement projects, recipe experiments, and in-home date nights, the two learned the truest meaning of making a home together: a space that was uniquely protective, comforting, and theirs.
Santorini
On the Greek Island of Santorini, Jessie and Alexandra got engaged to each other twice; Once, after a day spent on the crystal clear Aegean sea on a balcony overlooking Santorini at night with a speech written by Alexandra promising boundless love and safety and support and a crowded table. Next, on a tour of picturesque Grecian wineries overlooking the caldera sunset with an original song by Jessie called “She Gathers Me.” It was a day — and trip — they will never forget; and also will never finish all the wine Alexandra insisted on buying to commemorate the vacation of a lifetime.
Setting “Our Crowded Table”
Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Maren Morris, and Amanda Shires formed a band called “The Highwomen” the same year Jessie and Alexandra met. The group has a song called “Our Crowded Table,” which has always perfectly described not only the love the brides-to-be have for each other, but also the type of life they work to create: “I want a house with a crowded table, and a place by the fire for everyone,” the song says. The couple’s wedding, marriage, and love for one another are, of course, celebrations of each other; of their resilience while preparing to meet each other, and their joy in finding, nurturing, and choosing to love one another. Importantly, this marriage is also a celebration of everyone who sits at “our crowded table,” who has loved them fully and fiercely enough to help them do the same, who will support and be key parts of their family forever. Springtime is about rich, life-affirming growth. Jessie and Alexandra’s love has grown while held by those who show abundant love to them, and they can’t wait to celebrate side by side with those who crowd their table with endless support and goodness.
